


The Art of War

by RowanSparrow



Series: Deviation: Captain Rex [1]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: 79s, Clone Troopers - Freeform, Clone Wars, Dad!Rex, F/M, Give Rex a Baby 2K18, Mentions of Umbara, Pregnant!Reader, Rex Needs a Hug, Umbara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-10 18:06:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15954689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowanSparrow/pseuds/RowanSparrow
Summary: You, the reader, just recently discovered you were pregnant with Captain Rex's child. After giving Rex the news, the battle-hardened captain must come to terms with the fact he's going to become a father, and what kind of father he hopes to be. (originally written as a commission for @hyperboa on Tumblr)





	1. Chapter 1

In spite of the war raging around you, for you and your Captain, time passed slowly, quietly. It felt to you like something out of a dream, a taste of a life you never could’ve imagined having with Captain Rex.  Yet, despite his duty as a soldier, Rex never failed to make time for you. The two of you had been seeing one another for just over a year now, and would go out together on weekends, spend nights in each other’s arms. It didn’t matter where you went, or what you did, you just had to be together. You became familiar with one another, to the point where Rex knew the curve of your hips by heart, and he knew the music of your thighs when he was between them. You, on the other hand, could trace the scars across Rex’s skin, could hear the stories in his quiet gasps as you moved between his legs.

Some nights, when things were quiet, Rex would sing softly to you. He’d murmur songs to you in the darkness, his fingers gliding across your bare skin. Other nights, Rex would recount war stories to you, telling you the histories of all his departed brothers, and you would fall asleep watching him, silhouetted against the window as he spoke.

And then the dream ended.

It was a Tuesday. Rex had a briefing, and left early in the morning. You awoke just in time to see Rex getting dressed to leave. He leaned over you, kissing you once gently on the forehead and starting to leave, but you snatched his sleeve, pulling him back down to you for a longer kiss.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Rex told you, kissing you one more time. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” You whispered.

It was about thirty minutes after Rex had left that you first felt it.

A wave of nausea washed over you, and you were barely able to make it to the bathroom in time. You retched, emptying the contents of your stomach into the toilet. You groaned softly, coughing and running a hand through your hair.

_Kriff, am I getting sick?_

You straightened up, washing your mouth out and walking back into the bedroom to get dressed.

_It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten sick like that. I hope I didn’t get Rex-._

You froze.

“Oh God.” You murmured. You counted the days. Counted them again. “Oh God, oh God.”

You felt like you were going to be sick again, and you swayed slightly in the bedroom.

“Oh kriff.” You muttered, quickly getting dressed and racing out the door.

~

It only took you five minutes to get to the drugstore and back, but the time it took for the pregnancy test to work was agonizing. You paced anxiously in the bedroom, checking your chrono every few minutes. Finally, the wait was up, and you bolted into the bathroom, staring down at the little test.

A small pink plus sign illuminated the test.

“Oh,” You whispered, feeling faint. “Oh, no.”

You sank down to the floor of your bathroom, your whole body trembling. The special communicator Rex had given you to reach him buzzed next to you, and you covered your mouth, trying to banish the tears threatening to spill over your cheeks. You reached over to your communicator, answering the call.

“Hey, Rex.” You tried to sound chipper, but of course he saw right through it.

“Y/N?” He asked worriedly. “Is something wrong? What’s the matter?”

“No, everything’s -.” You sighed softly, rubbing your eyes. “Everything’s fine.”

“Don’t lie, _cyare._ ” Rex murmured, his voice low. “What happened?”

You bit your lip. This wasn’t something you could tell him over the communicator, and you sighed.

“Can – can you come over?” You asked lamely. “Even if it’s just for a little bit. I need… we need to talk.”

You could hear Rex’s soft intake of breath on the other end. The pause lasted a beat too long before Rex answered.

“Yeah. I have time.” He promised. “I’ll _make_ time. I’ll be over tonight, promise.”

You nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see you. “Alright. I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

“Yeah, I love you too. See you soon.”

~

You went straight to bed and stayed there until you heard Rex come home. You buried herself deeper under the blankets, hiding your face. You didn’t know what to feel, much less how you were going to tell Captain Rex, a soldier for the Republic Army, a man who could be court martialed just for _seeing_ you, that you were carrying his child. The bedroom door creaked open, and you felt Rex climbing onto the bed on top of you.

“Hey, love.” He whispered. “You ok? It’s only seven.”

“Yeah, just tired.”  You muttered. Rex kissed the top of your head.

“You want to tell me what happened?” He asked softly. You didn’t answer right away, and you felt Rex shift, followed by the sound of his armor plates being stacked in the corner of the room – the man hadn’t even had the time to change into civvies - then a few minutes later felt the blankets shift and his bare chest against your back.

“What’s wrong?”

 You drew a quivering breath, biting your lower lip.

“Y/N?”

You squeezed your eyes shut, exhaling heavily and whispering the dreaded words.

“I’m pregnant.”

You waited for Rex to say something, but he didn’t make a sound. You turned around to face him, reopening your eyes and looking up at him. His expression was unreadable, staring blankly off into space.

“Rex?”  You asked worriedly. Rex blinked, pulling his arms away from you, sitting up and running his hands through his hair.

“Oh.” He finally said. You chewed your lower lip, sitting up with him.

“What’re we going to do?” You asked him quietly.

Rex sat still for a moment, not meeting your eyes. He appeared to be deep in thought, not answering you. You flinched, fighting back tears as you swung out of bed.

“I’m going to go sit in the living room.” You mumbled, hurrying out of the bedroom as tears threatened to spill over. You had barely made it to the couch before you finally felt tears drop down your cheeks.

“Kriff.” You mumbled out loud, swiping furiously at your cheeks.

_What am I going to do now?_

“Hey,”

You glanced over your shoulder. Rex was standing in the hall, wearing just his lower blacks. One of his fists was closed tightly around something, but you couldn’t see what it was. His eyes widened slightly when he saw your tears. “Oh kriff, honey no, don’t cry.” He rushed over to the couch, sliding whatever had been in his hands into his pocket and gathering you up in his arms instead. “Y/N, don’t cry. I’m sorry, It’s alright, I’m not – I’m not upset.”

 You sniffed. “But-.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I should’ve said something. It just surprised me.” He kissed the top of your head. “I’m not mad.”

 You still didn’t look up at him, and Rex pulled away slightly, turning red.

“I um… I was gonna do this later this week.” He mumbled. “I had it all planned out. I was going to take you out to dinner, do something clichéd like put this in your wineglass… one of my men even volunteered to take over some of my duties so I could take a long weekend with you, but given the circumstances, I think maybe I better do this now.”

“What are you talking about?”  You asked, wiping your eyes and finally looking up at him. He smiled at you, eyes shining as he lowered himself off the couch, dropping to one knee and pulling a tiny black box out of his pocket. You stared at it, mouth opening in a silent question.

“Y/N,” Rex began, opening the box to reveal the most beautiful little ring you had ever laid eyes on.

“Will you marry me, when all this is over?”

You were already nodding and blinking back tears before Rex had even finished.

“Of course.”                                                           

Rex beamed, jumping back up to you and kissing you joyfully, sliding the little ring onto your finger. He pressed his palm tentatively against your stomach, pushing out a soft breath of air. “We’re gonna have a baby.” He murmured, awestruck. You nodded, wiping away the last of your tears as you kissed him again.

~


	2. Chapter 2

Your Captain was pulled away to battle for longer stunts at a time, and you tried not to worry about him, or think too much about where he was, what he was doing. You knew he was a capable man, and he could handle himself, but it still filled you with worry every time you turned on the HoloNet and saw stories about the battles raging across the galaxy.

Despite this, Captain Rex still commed you as often as he could on the private comm line you had together. You knew it took a lot of careful sneaking around for Rex to be able to privately contact you, especially when he was on the field, so every call you got, no matter how long it was, warmed your heart.

It had been about a week since you’d last heard from Rex. You knew he was somewhere in the Mon Gazza system, though he couldn’t tell you exactly where. You were in the middle of preparing dinner when the special comm began to buzz, and you leapt on it.

“Hello?” You asked anxiously, pushing your hair behind your ear.

“Hey, love.” Rex’s tired voice echoed through the commlink, and you felt relief flood through you.

“It’s so good to hear your voice, Rex.” You murmured, leaning against the counter and smiling to yourself. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Rex assured her. “Exhausted, but I’m fine.” A short pause, the sound of something shifted on Rex’s end. “I’m not sure how long I have. Cody’s taking watch, when he comes back I’ll have to go.”

“Okay.” You nodded, wrapping an arm reflexively around your stomach. “How is it?” You asked tentatively. You heard him sigh on the other end.

“Not too bad. Not yet at least. One of our scouts was supposed to come back two hours ago, and he hasn’t shown.” Rex replied, lowering his voice.

“Oh no…” You murmured, chewing your lower lip.

“It might be nothing. Sometimes the scouts… come back late.” Rex finished lamely. “But it’s not a good sign.”

You were quiet for a beat, sighing softly. “Be careful, Rex. It’s not just me you’re coming home to anymore.” You reminded him softly.

“Ah,” You could hear the smile in Rex’s voice, and his tone softened. “How is the baby, anyway?” He asked. “Is everything… feeling alright?” He asked hesitantly.

You chuckled softly, nodding once before you remembered Rex couldn’t see you. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I went to the doctor a few days ago. As of last week, I’m ten weeks pregnant.” You told him, your hand settling over your stomach. You heard Rex clear his throat on the other end.

“That’s – that’s good. That’s really good.” Rex huffed a small laugh, almost anxiously. You chewed your lower lip.

“You alright?” You asked.

“Yeah, I’m just thinking… we’re gonna have a baby.” He murmured, just as awestruck as he was the last time you’d seen him in person. You smiled.

“Yeah, love. A baby.”

“I uh… there’s not a lot I can really research on my own without being monitored.” Rex explained lamely. “But I asked my medic a few questions, so…” he cleared his throat again, awkwardly. “How is everything? Symptom wise?”

You had to laugh at the bluntness of it all, but at the same time Rex was so earnest and genuinely interested in your well-being that it warmed your heart.

“I’ve been dealing with morning sickness a bit. Some of my tastes have changed, which is frustrating.” You told him lightly. “I bought a bag of Naboo sweet rolls the other day from a vendor, and I couldn’t even eat them. As soon as I got home, the smell alone made me nauseous.” You giggled softly. “And I’ve been kind of sore, but other than that, it’s not so bad.”

You could hear the smile in Rex’s voice as he replied. “That’s good. I’m glad to hear that.” He sighed softly, shifted. “Hopefully this campaign will be finished up before too much longer, then maybe I can get away long enough to come see you.”

“I’d like that very much.” You smiled, glancing back over to the stove, where you had abandoned your dinner. You set the commlink down, continuing to cook as you talked. “Maybe you can come to my next checkup with me or something.”

“I’m not – I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, Y/N.” Rex answered quietly, tension suddenly filling the air between you. Your breath caught in your throat once you realized what you’d said, and you sighed softly. Right. The clones – _the soldiers,_ clones always sounded dehumanizing to you – weren’t allowed to fraternize with civilians. If it got out that you and the Captain had been seeing one another, much less that he’d gotten you pregnant-.

“Right. Forgot.” You murmured, continuing to cook.

“I’m sorry.” Rex apologized, his voice gruff. “I wish I could give you the life you deserve.”

“Oh, don’t start in on that.” You scolded him gently, a small smile playing on your lips again. “A life with you is the only life I want, no matter the hardships. You know that.”

A soft pause, on the other end.

“You still with me over there, Rex?”

“… Yeah, yeah I’m here. I’m just thinking.”

“About what?” You asked, anxiety welling up in your stomach. For a moment, you thought you might vomit.

“About you, about our baby, about the life I’m gonna give you once we end this damned war.” He replied quietly.

You blinked, the anxiety dissipating as quickly as it arrived.

“Oh?” You answered lamely, unable to formulate a better response.

“Yeah. I was thinking somewhere quiet. Maybe a farm? We could get credits from the harvest, plus it will be nice to have … something we’ve _made,_ evidence of our life together.”

“We’ve already made something together.” You reminded him with a giggle. Rex chuckled on the other end.

“You know what I mean.” Rex repeated. “Just something quiet, something far away from the war, where we can raise our family together, peacefully.”

You hummed. “Sounds nice.”

“And I want to be able to see the stars at night. There aren’t any windows in the barracks.” Rex added.

“Alright. A farm house somewhere quiet and peaceful with windows.” You nodded seriously. “We can do that, Rex.” You smiled down at the communicator. “I love you. So much.”

“I love you too.”

He shifted again, and you heard him gathering something on the ground. “I’ve got to go, _cyare._ I hear Cody coming back.”

“Okay.” You nodded, your heart already beginning to ache for him in his absence. “Be safe. Come home soon.”

“I will. I promise.” He told you, hung up quickly.

You stared longingly at the communicator for a few extra moments, just like always, and then sighed under your breath, returning to work on your dinner.

~

The campaign ended up taking longer than Rex thought it would, because another week passed, and you still hadn’t heard a peep from your Captain. You had hoped he’d be back in time for your next appointment with the doctors, but no such luck. Even if he couldn’t be with you during the actual appointment, you’d at least hoped he’d be at home waiting for updates.

You rubbed your stomach anxiously as you locked the door to your apartment behind you, shuffling your bag around so it sat a little more comfortably on your shoulder before you began making your way downstairs.

You’d always liked living in the city for two reasons. The first was the culture of it all. You felt like you could see the whole galaxy on one street corner if you wanted to, and you never had to leave the comfort of what was familiar to you. The other was that there were so many people, it was easy to hide. The second reason always felt sinister to you, but it certainly helped when you were trying to sneak Captain Rex to and from your apartment after you’d first met in 79’s.

You chuckled fondly to yourself at the memory as you hailed a cab to take you to your appointment. Truthfully, Coruscant cabs used to give you the creeps. The drivers had a nasty habit of hitting on their clientele. However, the cabs in the city had gotten sleeker over the years, and the one you were currently in was a slender black land speeder, meant for navigating the tricky space routes through the complex city. The driver himself was kind as well, a polite looking older man – Correllian, from the looks of him – who asked you how your day was before politely asking you where to go.

On the way to the doctor’s office, you let your mind wander back to the night you and Rex had first met. Truthfully, you’d never been the type to frequent clubs or bars, but you’d had a terrible day at work that day, and you were in the mood to get _roaring_ drunk. The clone bar, 79s, wasn’t exactly your top choice of bar. Hell, it didn’t even make the list. Yet you found yourself inside anyway. You remembered how strange it was at first, seeing a hundred different men with the exact same face, same body, same voice, all milling about in one space. But the longer you were there, the easier it was to notice the differences, the subtle little tells that made each of them unique, in your own way.

And then, naturally, you’d stumbled directly into the man himself. Captain Rex, of the 501st.

You remembered he’d been in full armor. Most of the clones in the bar had been in skintight black bodysuits – Blacks, Rex later told you they were called – or in various states of undress. A few wore officers in uniform, but Rex was unique in his white and blue armor, complete with a pauldron and kama. Truthfully, it had been quite impressive. He’d muttered an apology under his breath, brushing past you to get to the bar, where a trooper wearing nothing but his lower blacks was dangerously close to getting in a brawl with a uniformed officer. Rex stepped between them, knocking the two of them apart and sending them on their separate ways. The poor man looked so worn out, you took pity on him, and bought him a drink.

You smiled, looking out the window. He had been pleasant to talk to, keeping a respectful distance at first until he warmed up to you, and then it felt like talking to an old friend. You just felt so comfortable around him, from the moment you first started speaking.

He was a gentleman, and always had been, even from that first night. He didn’t go home with you that evening, or the next night, when you both came back and tried to make it less obvious that you’d both gone in hopes of seeing the other. He didn’t go home with you the night after that, either, though you knew perfectly well he was interested. _Very_ interested.

So much time had passed since those days, and yet it felt like moments. The idea of just meeting Rex for dates in 79s seemed so foreign now that you were going to have a child with him.

_A child…_

It didn’t matter that you were in the car on the way to a doctor’s appointment to check up on your unborn baby, the fact that you were having a baby – a baby with _Rex_ – still seemed like an impossible, faraway dream.

You arrived at the doctor’s office before you knew it, quickly paying the driver and hopping out, steeling your nerves as you walked into the building.


	3. Chapter 3

The appointment was mostly just to check in, to confirm how long you were pregnant – the last checkup had more just been a confirmation you were pregnant at all, they’d estimated ten weeks then – but you were still nervous.

It didn’t take nearly as long as you thought it would take, and you were in and out within fifteen minutes. The droid that had given you your scan informed you that you were just over fifteen weeks pregnant – ahead of what they’d originally guessed - and the baby was healthy, growing well, and there were no complications yet. The ultrasound scan managed to get a picture of the baby growing inside you, and the droid printed it out on a sheet of flimsi. It seemed so old fashioned, to have the image immortalized on flimsi rather than a holo disc, but a part of you like the physicality of it – to be able to hold the image of your child in your hands made it feel so much more real.

After your ultrasound, a Coruscanti doctor came to your room to talk you through how to handle the pregnancy. He had advised you to keep about your schedule as normal – you had been concerned about working while pregnant, but the doctor assured you it was fine – though to take it easy once you reached the final stages of your pregnancy. “That won’t be for awhile yet though,” The doctor had stressed, smiling kindly at you. He gave you a few different home remedies you could try to help alleviate some of your symptoms, then sent you on your way.

Exercise was one of the things your doctor had told you might help with pregnancy symptoms, so you elected to walk home from the doctor’s office rather than catch a cab again. It was a long walk, but it was nice to walk through the city and pass through all the little shops. You stopped in front of one of the smaller vendors along the sidewalks, and looked at the small leather bracelets the man was selling. You considered them for a moment, settling on a pretty black one with small blue swirls sewn into the band. It would fit under Rex’s glove, you mused, and it was something he could keep with him.

You smiled, forking over the ten credits before tucking it into the pocket of your jacket. It would be a nice gift for Rex when he came back from his campaign. You continued your walk back to your building, making your way to the lift and heading down your hall. You hadn’t even made it to your door yet before you collided with something strong and sturdy directly in front of you.

“Oh! I’m so-.”

Your apology choked off in the back of your throat as your eyes lifted. A clone trooper stood before you, though his armor wasn’t that of your Captain. The colors were the same, yes, the familiar royal blue that Rex wore, but this wasn’t your Captain. For a moment, fear seized your heart. Had something happened to him? Had they been found out? Had this soldier been sent by Rex, or was something more sinister amiss?

“Are you Y/F/N Y/L/N?” The clone trooper asked, his voice robotic beneath his helmet.

“Yes.” You replied shakily, your voice barely above a whisper. Your hand hovered nervously near your stomach, almost as a reflex. The soldier nodded, then relaxed slightly, glancing over his shoulder.

“May I speak with you privately, ma’am? It’s a very urgent matter.” The trooper continued. You hesitated at first, unsure if you should let this trooper into your apartment. If he was here on good terms, then you had nothing to worry about, but if trouble was amiss -.

You swallowed. It would be more suspicious if you didn’t let him in at all. Right?

You finally nodded, unable to speak for the time being. You led him back to your apartment, unlocking the door with trembling fingers and leading him inside. As soon as the door was safely fastened, the trooper removed his helmet.

It was a strange feeling, at first, to see another man with your lover’s face, but the longer you looked at the soldier, the more unique he seemed. His hair was different, jet black instead of your Captain’s familiar blond. He had facial hair, carefully sculpted into a goatee around his chin, and a dark tattoo of the number 5 on his temple. His face was serious, but it melted into a soft smile once he turned to look at you.

“My name is Fives, ma’am.” He greeted you, inclining his head in a very slight nod. “Captain Rex sent me.”

“Rex sent you?” You repeated, your voice finding its way back to your throat. “Is he alright?”

“He’s alright.” Fives promised. “Some things have come up, and he’s unable to get away from Command. He sent me in his stead to let you know he’s about to go out on another tour of duty. He expects this will take a while.” Fives’s face looked sympathetic. “He sends his apologies.”

“I… I see.” You managed finally, sinking down onto your couch and wrapping your arms around yourself. Another tour of duty. He’d be gone for a while. Again. Your heart ached for Rex. It felt like ages since you’d seen him, and the pain and longing you felt in his absence was only intensified now that you were carrying his child. You sighed quietly, composing yourself and looking up at the trooper. “I suppose Captain Rex puts a great deal of trust in you, then, seeing as how he entrusted you with this message?”

Fives nodded, straightening up respectfully. “Yes sir. He ah… made me aware of your rather… delicate situation.” Fives added, a bit awkwardly. “And I’m well aware of the consequences for both of you if this were to get out, so please trust me with this ma’am. I will take the secret of your relationship to the grave.”

“I hope that won’t be necessary, Fives.” You chuckled, relaxing slightly in the presence of the trooper. You tapped your fingers lightly against the pocket of your jacket, chewing on your lower lip as you hesitated. Finally, you reached into your pocket, withdrawing the small leather bracelet, offering it to the trooper. “Can you see to it that he receives this?” You asked him quietly. Fives nodded, taking the bracelet without looking at it and neatly tucking it into a small, obscure pouch on his utility belt. You would save the ultrasound photo for another time – give that to him in person.

“I’ll make sure he gets it before we deploy.” Fives promised.

“Are you going with him?” You asked, tilting your head curiously at the trooper.

“Yes ma’am. The Captain needed to break out the big guns for this one.” He grinned, and his smile was so disarming that you found yourself smiling back, all the tension flooding out of your body like a broken dam, though it immediately reset itself as you remembered Rex was being deployed again. _And needing the big guns is never a good thing._

“I see.” You murmured, letting your smile subside. “Look after him for me, Fives.”

He nodded seriously, rolling his helmet under his arm. “I will ma’am.”

“Y/N, please.” You corrected him. “Call me Y/N.”

Fives offered a small smile. “Very well, Y/N. I should be heading back.” He pulled his helmet on. “I’ll send the Captain your regards.”

You nodded, and the trooper inclined his head at you again, before turning and disappearing back out the door.

~


	4. Chapter 4

Time passed slowly, and with it so did you.

Your stomach grew with every passing day, swelling with child to where you couldn’t possibly hide it anymore, the bump more than noticeable. Your baby had become far more active too, to the point where you could feel your unborn child moving around within you, soft nudges pressing against your skin every now and then in quiet greeting.

Now, nearly a month had passed, since the ARC Trooper Fives had come to your door and told you about Rex’s impending campaign, and in all that time, you hadn’t heard a peep from your lover. Truthfully, it was making you anxious, but you tried not to dwell on it often. It wasn’t unusual for Rex to be gone for long periods of time, especially since the war had been escalating. Nevertheless, this was definitely a longer distance between calls than you were used to.

You were on your couch in your apartment when, at long last, you heard the familiar chirping of your private commlink. You stood as quickly as your body would allow, hurrying to the bedroom and snatching up the commlink, holding it close. “Hello?”

A long, heavy silence on the other end, and for a few moments you held your breath, almost afraid to speak.

“Hey, Y/N.”

Rex sounded _terrible._ His voice was hoarse and scratchy, heavy with exhaustion, grief, _loss,_ all emotions you’d become far too acquainted to after being with him this long. You frowned, sitting down on the bed.

“That bad?” You asked quietly. Another heavy silence on the other end. You tried to shift the subject, perhaps something lighter. “Did you get my present?” You asked gently, trying to distract him from whatever had upset him. “I gave it to one of your men – Fives, I think he told me. He’s very kind.”

“Y/N…” Rex began again, his voice quiet, somber. “I… We need to talk.”

The words thudded heavily in your chest, ricocheting up through your brain and stuffing your ears.

“What about?” You asked, trying to keep the shake out of your voice. You could hear Rex shifting around, then he sighed on the other end.

“I can’t – I don’t think -.” Each gap between his words was filled with a long pause as Rex struggled to come up with the right words.

“Rex, just say it.” You whispered, clutching the commlink like a lifeline. Rex sighed heavily, and you held your breath.

“I don’t… I don’t want a child, Y/N. I can’t.”

You felt like you’d been punched in the gut, all the air rushing out of your lungs in one heavy _whump._

“What…” Your voice cracked slightly, and you cleared your throat, one arm wrapped around your stomach protectively, like you were trying to defend your baby against some invisible threat. “What do you expect me to say to that, Rex?”

Rex sighed heavily, and you could picture him hunched over, rubbing his temples tiredly as he spoke. “I can’t do it, Y/N.” He answered, his voice surprisingly soft, mournful. “I’m so sorry, I thought – I thought I could handle this. I thought I could be there for you – for our child – but I -.” His voice cracked slightly, like he was close to tears, and your heart clenched.

“Rex,” You murmured, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Let’s – are you coming home soon? You sound like you’re on a ship.”

“I am.” Rex replied. The sound of his armor shifting echoed through the commlink. “I’ll be planet-side again within – hopefully a few hours.”

You nodded, biting your lower lip. “We – We can talk about this more when you come home.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Rex snapped, his voice suddenly harsh. He took a deep breath, correcting himself quickly. “Kriff… I’m sorry, Y/N. You’re right, I’m not – I’m not myself right now. Will you be awake when I get there? It’ll be late.”

“Of course, Love.” You murmured. “I’ll wait up for you.”

Ordinarily, Rex would’ve fought you on that, urging you to go on to sleep and not tire yourself out, but the fact that Rex didn’t put up any sort of fight at all was alarming. “Alright. I’ll see you when I get home.” A pause. “I love you, Y/N.”

You had to swallow again, force away the incoming tears. “Yeah. I love you too, Rex. Come home safe.” You breathed, clicking off the commlink. Only once you were sure he couldn’t hear you did you let the tears flow.

~

_What happened to him?_

Part of you, truthfully, had expected it. Perhaps not necessarily like _that,_ but part of you knew Rex would get anxious as the due date grew closer, especially because he was a soldier, and he wouldn’t be able to be in the child’s life much. Not to mention it was _highly illegal._

And yet, this was something else, something in his voice, that sounded regretful. He _did_ want this child, and he wanted _you,_ you knew he did. But as you paced in your apartment, rubbing your stomach reassuringly as you thought, you knew there was something deeper going on, something else that had triggered this train of thought for him.

_Something happened. Something bad happened on his mission._

The door clicked open, and you whirled around, watching as your haggard Captain stumbled through the doorway, his helmet tucked under his arm. You had to bite back a gasp. He looked dreadful; dark shadows under his eyes, sunken cheekbones, a five o’clock shadow across his cheeks and chin.

“Oh, honey…” You whispered, shutting the door behind him and ushering Rex into the room. Your Captain nearly looked catatonic, staring blankly ahead as you carefully took his helmet from him, setting it aside.

“Let’s get your armor off, okay love? Can I touch you?” You asked carefully, reaching out to his chest. Rex seemed to snap out of it a little bit, nodding emptily as you carefully worked off his pauldron first.

“I’ve got a debriefing… tomorrow.” Rex mumbled, letting you unfasten his chest plate and set it aside. “Evening… I think. Gotta check on my men…” He was talking mostly to himself, and you focused on getting his armor off, removing the shoulder bells, bicep plates, gauntlets, kama, working your way down his body until his armor was neatly piled to one side.

“It’s okay, love, don’t worry about any of that right now.” You soothed him carefully. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” You pulled on his gloved hand gently, leading him into the bathroom. You leaned over the tub, drawing the water and letting it fill with warm water. You considered it for a moment, then added some scented soaps to the water, letting the room fill with the soft smell of Corellian sweetfruit, hopefully reassuring to Rex.

“Can you get out of your clothes?” You tried, reaching for him. “Or do you want me to help you?”

Rex shook his head, reaching for the button at the neck of his blacks. “I got it.” He muttered, but his hands were shaky, fumbling with the button. You took his hands gently, squeezing them reassuringly as you worked his gloves off, finger by finger, setting them aside on the counter. You noticed he was wearing the leather bracelet you’d gotten him. You moved to take it off for him, but he stopped you.

“Leave it.” He murmured, squeezing your hand.

“Baby, I’m not sure it will do very well in the water.” You told him gently.

“Please…” Rex repeated. You nodded, taking his hands again and moving them aside, unbuttoning the collar of his blacks for him, and easing the zipper down so he could shimmy out of them.

“I’m sorry.” Rex whispered, his voice sounding soft and small and so _frightened_ that your heart broke for him.

“Don’t apologize, Rex.” You soothed him, helping him out of the rest of his clothes and easing him into the warm water. “Here. You’ll feel better before you know it.” You promised, urging him to lean back against the edge of the tub as you scooped water up in your hands, carefully rinsing the dirt and grime from battle off his skin. You grabbed the shampoo, lathering it into Rex’s buzzed hair, massaging your fingers soothingly through his scalp. “Does that feel nice?” You asked gently, bending down to kiss his scruffy cheek. Rex nodded hollowly, still staring vacantly off into space. He seemed preoccupied, haunted.

“You okay here for a few minutes?” You asked him quietly, rinsing out his hair with small handfuls of water. “I’m going to wash your blacks for you.”

Rex didn’t respond, and you sighed quietly. Maybe it was best to leave him alone for now. You kissed his cheek gently, squeezing his shoulder once before rising to your feet, leaving a towel sitting next to the tub for him as you gathered up his blacks.

You made a pit stop first in the bedroom, digging around in your drawers until you found some civilian clothes you kept around the house for whenever Rex came over. You pulled out some soft pants and a sleep shirt, laying them on the bed for him for when he came out of the bathroom.

The baby protested softly in your stomach, and you felt a tiny flutter of movement. “It’s okay.” You whispered aloud, pausing to rub your tummy gently, reassuringly. You moved on, heading to the back of your apartment towards the small washroom. You put Rex’s blacks in the machine, the cycle working its magic in less than a minute, the clothes coming back fresh, clean, and warm. You folded them neatly, returning to the living room and setting his blacks neatly on the couch and instead grabbed a washcloth and a bowl of warm water. You sat cross-legged on the floor, picking up each bit of Rex’s armor and very carefully cleaning it, mindful of the paint.

You cleaned the dirt and occasionally even blood off every inch of Rex’s armor, setting them aside in a neat pile once you had finished with each piece. You lingered on his helmet, tracing your fingers along the elegant blue pattern adorning the forehead of the helmet. You could almost hear Rex’s voice explaining it to you.

_“Jaig eyes,” He whispered in the dark one night, fingers trailing up and down your bare side. “It’s a Mandalorian symbol… honorable.”_

“Y/N?”

Rex’s voice jarred you out of your thoughts, and you jumped, looking over your shoulder. Rex was standing in the doorway to the bedroom, dressed comfortably in the clothes you had laid out for him. He looked a bit better now, slightly less worn.

“Hey, love.” You smiled gently at him, gathering yourself and carefully pushing yourself to your feet, mindful of your stomach. “You doing okay? Would you like something to eat?” You offered, stepping forward and taking his hands gently. Rex didn’t answer right away, instead dropping his forehead down to press against your own, closing his eyes and pushing out a long, slow breath of air through his nose.

“About… about what I said.” Rex muttered, opening his eyes to look at you. “I wasn’t – a lot of things happened, Y/N. Terrible things, and I -.”

You held up a hand to stop him, pressing your lips against his gently, stroking his cheek with your thumb as you cradled his head in your hands. “You don’t have to explain, love. It’s alright.” You promised. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Rex hesitated, finally shaking his head and pulling away from you, drawing back into himself. He seemed so vulnerable here before you, one of the few places he really _could_ be vulnerable.

“Tell you what.” You murmured, turning to the kitchen, giving him the choice to follow or not. “I’ll make some caff, and I’ll slice some of those Naboo pears you like. Remember those? We ate them the last time you spent a weekend here?” You smiled reassuringly at him. “We’ll get some food in you, some warm drink, and see how you feel, okay?”

Rex nodded, grateful even if he didn’t have the right mindset to express it for now. He settled down into one of the kitchen chairs, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. You bustled around the kitchen, working on the pot of caff first before grabbing some fruit out of the bowl on your counter, grabbing a vibro-knife and carefully slicing the fruit into pieces. You retrieved a few sweet rolls from the pantry, setting those on the plate as well.

“Here, try to eat something.” You encouraged him sweetly, kissing his grizzled cheek again as you fetched the caff next, pouring it into two mugs and setting one down in front of Rex. You sat down in the chair beside him, watching him closely. “Can I touch you?” You asked quietly. Rex nodded, holding out his hand to you. You took it gratefully, squeezing his large hand in both your smaller ones, rubbing your thumbs against the calloused skin.

Rex sat quietly for a few moments, shaking his head slowly to himself before finally speaking. “I can’t be a father, Y/N.” He whispered.

“Why not?” You asked patiently, keeping your hands on his own.

“I lost -.” His voice broke, and he cleared it, continuing on. “I lost a lot of men on this campaign, Y/N.”

“It was a bad mission.” You soothed him gently. “You’ve had them before, it’ll be alright. Do you want to do your remembrances?” You asked, remembering how Rex had told you about the tradition the clones had of reciting the names of their fallen brothers in memory of them.

“No – I mean, yes, but it’s not like that, Y/N. This campaign… it wasn’t just bad.” He shook his head, rubbing at his eyes again. He exhaled shakily, his voice so soft, so fragile, like the very words would break him.

“I killed my own men.”

At first, you weren’t sure you understood, and you shook your head slowly, squeezing his hands again. “You – what happened?”

Rex’s shoulders were shaking slightly, keeping one hand over his face so you couldn’t see his expression. “We thought they were in our armor.” He managed. “I was just… I was just following orders. I didn’t _know_.”

“Didn’t know what?” You pressed, bringing his hand to your lips and kissing his knuckles. Rex paused, shaking his head.

“I can’t, Y/N.” He shook his head. “If anyone finds out I’ve spoken of any of this to you…” He lowered his hand from his face. His eyes were bloodshot. “It’s all confidential. I haven’t even been fully debriefed yet myself.”

Rex shook his head again, falling silent for a few moments, finally reaching for his caff. He brought it to his lips, and seemed to relax slightly. You knew how to make it just the way he liked it, that was for sure.

Rex was quiet again for a long time, before speaking again. “I nearly executed Fives and Jesse. For what?” He whispered, more to himself than to you. “They saved us. _All_ of us. Without them, there wasn’t a prayer of us capturing Umbara. And I stood by and did _nothing_ while they…” He shook his head, angry this time, and dropped your hand, rising abruptly to his feet.

“How am I supposed to do this?!” He demanded, pacing in the kitchen. “How can I be expected to raise a child, _your_ child, when I can’t even protect my men?!”

“Rex -.” You tried, rising to your feet with him, trying to calm him down.

“I would’ve let them die!” Rex shouted, spinning around to face you now, agony scrawled across his features. “I – I would’ve let them die. If they hadn’t – if my men hadn’t -.” He grabbed at his short hair, nails digging into his scalp.

“Rex…” You whispered, reaching out to him and touching his arm carefully. “Rex, love… focus on me.” You risked a step closer, easing Rex down from his anxious high, leading him to the couch and urging him to sit. “It’s alright, Rex. Everything’s alright, now.” You assured him, stroking his arms. “Listen… I don’t know what happened over there, and I understand you can’t tell me, but do you want to know something?” You smiled, squeezing his hands. “I know you’ll be a good father.”

Rex scoffed, shaking his head. “You don’t know that, Y/N.”

“I do.” You insisted, kissing his knuckles. “Would you like to know why?”

Rex looked up at you skeptically, but didn’t answer.

“Because you’re a good man.” You murmured against his knuckles. “You regret your mistakes, and you try to learn from them however you can. And I know you, Rex. I know you’d do anything to protect your men. Whatever happened, it was beyond your control. You did what you could, and that’s all that anyone can ask of you.”

Rex still didn’t look convinced, and you dropped his hands, kissing his forehead lightly. “I’ll be right back.”

You returned a few minutes later, sitting back down across from him and pressing the piece of flimsi into Rex’s palm. He unfolded it slowly, making a soft sound in the back of his throat. “Is that-?”

“That’s our baby.” You whispered, taking one of his hands and settling it over your stomach, letting the weight of his palm soothe both you and the baby. “ _Our_ baby, Rex. Our little girl.” You whispered, looking up at him.

Rex blinked, looking between you and the photo and back down at the hand on your stomach. “We’re having a little girl?” He asked, almost hopeful. You nodded, unable to contain your smile.

“Yeah.” You smiled, stroking his cheek gently. “We’re having a baby girl.”

Rex huffed a soft laugh, almost in wonderment, and he let his hand ghost over your belly again, jolting slightly as you felt the baby move. Evidently, Rex had felt it too.

“Hi.” He whispered, a tired, but _overjoyed_ smile creasing his face. “Hello, little one.”

You giggled softly, leaning up to kiss him gently. “She knows her Papa.” You promised. Rex nodded in wonderment, chuckling softly. He looked up at you, his eyes shining slightly.

“We’re gonna have a little girl.” He repeated. You smiled, leaning forward and pressing your lips gently against his.

“Come on.” You urged, rising to your feet. “Let’s get to bed. The war can spare you one night.”

You let Rex wander ahead of you into the bedroom while you quickly cleaned up the caff mugs and fruit plate, covering it and putting it in the fridge for later. You hurried back to the bedroom with Rex, where he was waiting on the edge of the bed. It felt like years since the two of you had been able to share a bed.

You turned down the lights, climbing into bed as Rex joined you, immediately opening his arms up to you. “I love you so much, _cyare.”_ He whispered into your neck, wrapping his arms around your middle and letting his hands settle over your stomach. “Thanks for being patient with me. I know things haven’t been easy, and you’ve had to deal with this mostly on your own.” He continued, burying his face in your neck and inhaling slowly. “I’m going to do everything I can to make up for lost time.”

“It’s alright, love.” You promised him, reaching back to stroke his face gently. “You’re here now, and that’s what counts.”

Rex smiled, leaning over you and kissing your cheek softly. “Have you thought of names at all?” Rex asked, the rumble of his voice vibrating through his chest and against your back. You’d missed that sound.

“Not really.” You answered truthfully. “I wanted to see what you thought.”

Rex was quiet, kissing along your jawline thoughtfully.

“Elora.” He finally murmured. “I heard it once, on a mission. General Skywalker had tasked us with guarding a princess, here on Senate business.” He smiled to himself. “She was very kind to my men. They spoke fondly of her.”

“Should I be concerned?” You teased him lightly, glancing at him over his shoulder. Rex chuckled, burying his face in your neck, humming quietly.

“Not in the slightest.” He promised. “My heart belongs to you, _cyare.”_

You smiled at the praise, tilting your head back to kiss him again. “Elora… that’s a pretty name.” You agreed. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I always will.”

You smiled, happy to be back in your Captain’s arms at long last.

~


	5. Chapter 5

True to his word, Rex tried to come by your apartment as much as possible, even if it was only for a few minutes. As the due date inched ever closer, Rex had begun formulating strategies for how best to get you to the hospital – or rather, not, given you were having a clone’s child and if that got out it would be a disaster – and the best solution he had come up with thus far involved two of his men.

“You’ve met Fives.” Rex explained to you one day in your kitchen over breakfast. “I’d trust him with my life. He knows about you, obviously, and if I’m off planet or otherwise indisposed when you go into labor, Fives is going to bring Kix – Kix is my medic, we can trust him too – and they’ll help you.”

“You expect me to have our daughter _here?”_ You asked him, incredulous. “Why not go to an actual hospital?”

“Y/N, we can’t risk that.” Rex shook his head. “I know what they’ll do to me and you, but I can’t imagine what will happen to her.” He blanched at the thought. “I don’t want the longnecks getting their hands on my daughter.”

You nodded seriously, knowing he was referring to the Kaminoans, the species that created the clone army. “Alright… so this Kix, he has experience with childbirth?” You asked hopefully.

“He’s dealt with pregnant civilians in the field before.” Rex nodded. “He’ll take care of you, I promise. And I’ll be there with you as soon as I possibly can.” Rex added.

The plan had helped reassure you, because as the months went on, it truly did make you nervous not having any sort of backup around the house to help you if you went into childbirth. It’s not like Rex was right there beside you all the time.

In the final weeks of your pregnancy, you took off work, confined mostly to your apartment. The only thing keeping you sane was converting the spare room of your apartment into a nursery, hanging up a little mobile you’d made yourself of tiny model republic starfighters, and a little clone helmet you’d crafted out of flimsi. You worried that might be a bit too forward, but you could always wave it off as patriotism, if anyone asked.

That’s where you were, sitting in the chair next to the crib in your completed nursery, singing softly to yourself and to your unborn child, when your water broke.

The contractions had been off and on the past few days, but that wasn’t entirely unusual. You knew it was common for women in their first pregnancies to have false contractions. Now, that didn’t necessarily mean you were going into labor yet, but once your water broke, you knew it was for real.

“Oh. Oh kriff.” You cursed quietly, pushing yourself to your feet. A contraction hit you like a wave, stronger than the ones you had felt in the past few days, and you paused for a moment, catching your breath. “Oh, hang in there, baby girl. We’re gonna call your Papa.” You whispered out loud, shuffling into the kitchen and grabbing your commlink off the counter. You called Rex first, focusing on your breathing so you didn’t panic or pass out.

The commlink rang for several minutes, long enough for another contraction to ripple through you, before you gave up and switched tactics, instead calling the second comm channel Rex had given you: ARC Trooper Fives.

He answered almost immediately.

“Y/N?” He asked, his voice already concerned. “Is it-?”

“Yes.” You answered breathlessly, clutching your stomach as you winced again. The contractions were getting worse. “Baby’s coming.”

An unholy string of curses, followed by the abrupt sound of armor being jostled together. “Ah, alright, err – stay calm, Ma’am.” Fives sputtered anxiously. “I’ll call Kix, did you try – Kriff, Rex is in a briefing. I’ll see if I can get a message through to him, maybe get him out in time. Don’t panic.” He told you, sounding rather panicked himself. “Kix and I will be there soon.”

“Alright, thank you Fives. Please hurry.” You hung up, taking the commlink with you as you made your way back to the bedroom, grabbing the towels you’d had prepared on the chair next to the bed for the past several weeks. You also headed to the kitchen, hoping to get a basin of warm water ready for Kix as well, before he arrived.

Another contraction hit you as you grabbed a bowl, and you dropped it in surprise, shattered pieces flying across your kitchen floor. “Sithspit,” You muttered, starting to bend over to try and clean them up, when the aftershocks of the contraction hit you again, and you gasped, clutching your stomach.

As if on cue, the door opened, and Fives and another soldier marched through the door, dressed in civilian clothing.

“Y/N!” Fives squawked, quickly offering his arms for support. “What are you doing, you should be in bed!”

“Fives, clean up this mess and get me a bowl of warm water.” The second clone, Kix, ordered quickly, taking you from Fives’s grip and helping you back to the bedroom. “I’m Kix, ma’am. I’m the lead medic for the 501st.” He introduced himself hurriedly, spreading out sterile sheets he’d brought with him and helping you lay back on the bed. “How’re you feeling?”

“Scared.” You answered truthfully. Kix opened his pack, rifling through his bag and coming up with a small syringe.

“This will help with the pain.” He promised, carefully injecting it into your arm. “It’ll help relax your muscles too, make it easier for me to get the fetus out.” He explained. “Now, I just want you to do whatever your body tells you, okay? It knows what to do, you just tell me if anything feels wrong, and remember to breathe.” He checked the chrono on the bedside table. “Right. This is your first child, so it will probably take its sweet time. I’d get comfortable if I were you.” He told you, closing the door to give you some privacy before hiking up your tunic and working your leggings off. “Fives can get you anything you need – I won’t let anyone in but Rex, ma’am.” He reassured you yet again.

You nodded, taking a few deep breaths. “Okay… okay.” You exhaled slowly, nodding yet again. Kix chuckled softly, patting your knee in a small gesture of kindness.

“Don’t worry, ma’am. This will all be over before you know it, and you’ll be able to meet your…”

“Daughter.” You supplied, smiling nervously at Kix.

“Right. You’ll be able to meet your daughter in person.” He turned toward the door. “I’m going to get what I need from Fives, and see if he got in touch with the Captain yet. Your contractions are about eight minutes apart right now, and you’ll start going into labor once they get to be about five minutes apart.”

You nodded again, and Kix stepped out of the room.

~

The next few hours were a whirlwind. Kix kept carefully feeding you ice chips and patting your flushed face down with a cool washcloth as contraction after contraction ripped through you. Fives, as far as you knew, was waiting in the living room.

“Where’s Rex?” You panted after one of your worst contractions yet had subsided.

“He’s stuck in a briefing. He can’t leave without it being suspicious.” Kix supplied, staying very calm throughout everything. “He’ll be here as soon as he -.”

You cut him off midsentence as you cried out, another painful contraction searing through your body. You heard a commotion outside the bedroom door, followed by a voice.

“Kix won’t let me back there, sir, I don’t know if-.”

The bedroom door thundered open, and Rex strode into the room, face flushed and still in full armor.

“Sir, I thought we agreed we’d dress as civilians to avoid suspicion.” Kix frowned, looking his Captain up and down.

“There was no time.” Rex snapped, kneeling next to you. “How are you?”

“Better now.” You promised, smiling weakly up at him. “We’re gonna meet our daughter soon.”

Rex nodded, grinning shakily as he took your hand.

“Alright, this is it.” Kix announced, getting ready. “Big push on three.”

Kix counted off, and you squeezed Rex’s hand in your bone-crushing grip, to the point where you visibly saw Rex wince.

“Alright, keep going.” Rex coached, looking between you and Kix for instruction, patting your hand gently as he held it. “Another big push, one, two, three!”

You cried out again, and Rex lifted his other hand to stroke through your sweaty hair.

“I know, love. I know. You’re doing amazing, you’re almost there.” He promised, looking back at Kix. “One more, one more. One, two -.”

This time, instead of three, you heard it. The most beautiful sound in all the galaxy. A soft, quiet cry of an infant baby.

“Got her.” Kix called from the foot of the bed, working quickly to clean both you and the baby, taking care of you both.

“Rex?” You asked, looking anxiously up at him.

Rex didn’t answer, focused on Kix at the foot of the bed. He was still busy with the baby, brow furrowed as he inspected her closely. “Kix?” Rex prompted. Kix smiled, pulling the sheets down to help cover you up a little better as he wrapped your daughter up in a blanket.

“Congratulations sir, and to you, Ma’am.” Kix told you both. “You’ve got a healthy, beautiful little girl here.”

Fives poked his head in, peering around the edge of the door. “Can I come in now?” He asked, keeping his voice low. Rex nodded, allowing the ARC Trooper to step fully into the room. If you weren’t so exhausted, you would’ve laughed at the priceless look on the war veteran’s face when he saw Elora.

“Little gods, she’s perfect!” Fives whispered, looking over Kix’s shoulder. “Can I hold her?”

“Absolutely not.” Rex shook his head, reaching for the baby. Kix chuckled.

“Might want to take off some of your armor first, sir.” Kix informed him. Rex let go of your hand, stripping out of the top half of his armor in record time, nudging it off to the side as he once again tried to reach for his daughter. This time, Kix obliged him, settling the baby girl carefully into Rex’s waiting arms. “Watch her head.” Kix cautioned Rex, nodding to him. “Fives and I will clean things up while you three get acquainted.” He smiled, nudging Fives back out of the room.

Rex was breathless, staring down at the tiny baby in his arms. When he looked up at you again, he had tears in his eyes. “Y/N, she’s so beautiful.” He whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek. “She’s so _beautiful.”_

He shifted his grip, carefully passing Elora over to you, wrapping his arms around you from behind so he could hold the both of you. Rex was right, Elora was gorgeous. Soft, caramel colored skin, and bright, honey colored eyes blinking sleepily up at both of them. Rex’s eyes.

“She looks like you.” You told Rex, smiling up at him. Rex chuckled, wiping at his eyes.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever been happy to hear somebody looked like me.” He whispered, brushing his fingers across the soft down on the baby’s head. “I love you, Y/N.” He smiled down at Elora. “And I love you too, my beautiful little girl.”

You leaned into your Captain, letting Elora wrap her tiny hand around your finger as she drifted off to sleep. All was well.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel coming soon. <3 thanks for reading!!
> 
> UPDATE AS OF 10/25/2018 - The first chapter of the sequel will be posted on 10/27/2018 ;) Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @rowansparrow-writing on Tumblr! This work was initially commissioned by @hyperboa on Tumblr. If you liked this story, check me out on Tumblr for several other awesome stories like this one or commission one of your own!


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